Last week was hard. The series of events broke me. And it was only at the end of it all that I realized that God was there during all of it, leading me slowly back to Him.
It’s easy to forget why we’re here. When life sucks us in to the worries and stress and pain and hopelessness that surrounds us everyday, our purpose disappears. It’s no longer about living – it’s about surviving. The Life that Jesus made real for us sits on the shelf, and the life that the world demands of us becomes first priority. We become complacent, passive-aggressive, and we lose the conviction and fire that moved our hearts to God in the first place. But God never gives up on us, and when His call comes so clearly through the voice of a dear friend and sister, you can’t do anything but wake up.
It’s a movement that’s sweeping the campus, a wave that is building. For over a year, several of us have felt the Spirit moving in some way, that individuals were being prepared for something amazing; the moment for it has finally arrived. The Spirit of God spoke to each and every one of us and said, “This is it. I have called you to this.” Such excitement tore through, but perhaps it’s not just for MIT. Perhaps it’s also for where you are, and I pray that if it is, that you’ll join this wave. For the glory of God, and the good of all people.
Brothers and Sisters,
This is urgent. I am writing to you because you are people I consider family. People that I trust with my spiritual health and I hope know that can trust me with theirs (yours). People who I see as fellow soldiers in God’s kingdom. Continue reading
I’ve seen the beauty of a new morning, and the depravity that comes with the night. I’ve seen the harsh reality that light exposes in a situation, and I’ve seen the relief of innocence that is protected in the dark. I’ve seen astounding views that show the beauty of Creation and the good in the world, and I’ve seen astounding views that show the evil man is capable of in a dying world. I’ve seen people who inspire, and I’ve seen them do what was previously impossible. I’ve seen people lose their spirits, and I’ve seen them slowly deteriorate under the weight of failure. I’ve seen people being encouraged and the moments of their transformation. I’ve seen dreams die and hearts turn hard. In my mind’s eye I’ve seen things that will never happen, alternate realities where the past happened differently, and dreams that I’m afraid to see come true. All these things that I’ve seen amount to nothing much more than images that come and go, though some are seared into my memory. But that can’t be it. There must be a reason for seeing beyond simply taking in information. And I’m afraid I don’t have the tools to do much more than just see.
I must have spoken about this before, as it has been a constant theme in my young life, but it is very true that my greatest fear in life is failure. I’m creeped out by spiders and I would prefer not to be at gunpoint, but failure itself is an umbrella under which everything else that is worth avoiding hides. As long as I can avoid failure, I can avoid all other unpleasantness, such as losing friends or disappointing my mother or getting into life-or-death situations. The only problem with this being my biggest fear is my huge aptitude for failure. Continue reading
There’s one thing that people see as a huge flaw in the church or in Christian community as a whole, that being how it feels so fake.
Because everything, and everyone, has to be alright. There is no room for problems – God’s love casts out all sin. There is no room for being disheartened – we delight in our infirmities. There is no room for loneliness – God promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. And God forbid if you’re mad at Him – who are you to question what God does in your life? Remember – all things work together for good. Yes, God is the answer to every problem, but that shouldn’t be a reason to ignore that problems exist.
“Past, present, future,” he said, in his typical cryptic “yoda” fashion. I wasn’t in a mind to take that kind of thing from him, not right then. Usually it gave me a mental exercise, along the lines of, “Whatever could he mean by that?” But yesterday night, I just wasn’t having it.
“What’s that supposed to mean??”
“What do you mean what’s that supposed to mean?”
“What I just said!”
“Woah now, you actually sound mad!” Upon inspection it seemed that I was, and that’s not normal. Not with him.
After an exasperated sigh I continued to seethe, trying to calm myself down. He laughed at my efforts.
Then he remarked thoughtfully, “Don’t you know what you’re asking?”
“No!” I yelled, taking advantage of the opportunity to set his head straight, or at least to make myself clear. “I’m just trying to figure it out. I’ve talked to God about it, sure, but with Him I don’t feel as though I need to be completely coherent.” He nodded with a smile in understanding. “I’ve never really tried to talk it out with someone. I’m just… confused.”
“You’re wondering why God called you.” Continue reading
The inspiration came to me when I saw an advertisement for a quickly approaching TEDx talk. I looked at the line-up for speakers – extremely impressive, all of them. Each of them really making something of themselves and putting a huge footprint in the wave of social history. All of them started something, all of them are young, and all of them are “inspiring.” So then I thought, how funny would it be if I was there, what would I say to an audience like that, being surrounded by other speakers like that?
This is what came out of that: Continue reading
“…there’s no place quite so dear. It’s the closest thing to Heaven! How I wish that you were here…” Sentimental, subtly appropriate, and unable to get out of my head as I flew into SFO. Home for the holidays. Finally.
I couldn’t stop smiling as I drove home. All these places that I knew were familiar seemed so new to me. I just realized that I never truly believed this day would come, when I would leave all my books and notes back at school and come home just to be someone’s child, someone’s sister, someone’s friend. Not someone’s student (albeit I’m trying to become someone’s employee… but that’s a different story). Still, with everything God has shown me over the past semester, I’ve made it a goal to not just sleep for the entire 2 weeks that I’m separated from my college campus. No, I want this to be a Christmas that defines me, one that I can look back to as the time when I truly began to find who I am in God. Continue reading