Tag Archives: God

Changes

Life has moved at a pace I could not have foreseen over the past few months since I last put thoughts to screen. It’s scary in some regards, but I’m filled with hope. I know that God is with me, and I feel as though He wants me to chronicle my journey through this time; I feel as though I need to share my testimony. I can’t stay in the dark. I need to be in the light so that God can do a good work in me.

To dedicate this new chapter in my life, I’m starting a new blog: hernameispeace.wordpress.com. If you’ve heard my thoughts before and now want to hear more, I’d love for you to follow. Your encouragement would be invaluable.

Because very soon, I’m going to be a mother.

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A Proclamation

I made a decision a friend of mine didn’t approve of. That in itself was fine, but he took it one step further, quoting to me Proverbs 14:12 – “There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” I tried to shrug it off, but couldn’t. I hold Proverbs in high esteem, and I’m searching for wisdom. The words literally made me stop thinking, going back and forth over the past few days. Was it not enough that I saw God in my choice? That there was good fruit? How would I know that, while it looks good, anything I do is not taking me towards death?

But it was as though, in the midst of all this turmoil, something in me clicked. Snapped. Continue reading

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Chasing away the Dark

I sat at the kitchen table with the Best Intentions. My Bible is in the bag with my journal and prayer notebook at my feet. I bring out my laptop to finish listening to that sermon that blessed me so much yesterday. I make myself soup, one of my favorites, and sit to write a letter to my boyfriend, one of the many he’ll never read. Then from there, the battle began.  Continue reading

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Fighting Myself

It happened suddenly… it’s one of the reasons why I haven’t written in so long. On June 5th, I met a man who sees more in me than I’ve ever been willing to see in myself. Despite everything I throw at him he refuses to leave… if anything he becomes more stubborn to stay and show me how he sees me. He uses elegant words and phrases to tell me who I am to him, who God is to him, who he was and who he wants to be. I get tongue-tied, awkward in my own skin and fearing the day that he realizes what he’s done, and who I am. It’s taken a toll on me, this fear, and its come to the point that I’ve realized that its not his fault. It’s mine – and I’m tired of fighting myself.  Continue reading

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Seeing Yourself in the Mirror

At some point or another, we’ve all had that one really good friend say to your face how horrible you are as a person. While we may not take it well, it’s things that we have to hear. Because those are the things we may ignore when we look at ourselves. On the flipside, that same really good friend sometimes tells you to your face what an amazing person you are. The reaction to this may also be negative, because we may choose not to see those traits, and instead focus on the flaws.

But what God does, what God did, is to give you the ability to look into the mirror yourself with open eyes, seeing both good and bad, both holy and evil. But it’s not right to take shame and self-pity from the bad, or pride and self-gratification from the good. All must be taken with humility: all good things come from God, and He loves us despite the bad. He wants to bring out of us the good, and He came to save us from the bad. He is, Himself, the mirror into which we look, and when we open our eyes, we see hope. Hope of who we are, and who we are to be, in Christ Jesus.

Hope and humility – the two keys necessary to continue looking into His face despite ourselves. To continue searching for Heaven.

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The Real Battle

“Do you know what I want?”

“I don’t know, what do you want?”

“I was hoping you would be able to tell me.”  Continue reading

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I fell in love with a book today

It might have been because the day is gorgeous today. Even at 9AM when I was walking to church, the sun was high and warm, and the surroundings were just… lovely.

It might have been because of the sermon today. I’ve been praying for God to give me a love for His word, and the message talked all about how precious and powerful and wonderfully good the Word is. The resonance of truth really stuck with me as I began my walk back to campus.

I do believe it was because I felt God told me to slow down. Just on my way back home I was thinking about all the things I should do, and it was if His hand fell onto my shoulder and just, halted me. I looked around and noticed anew how beautiful the day was. To my left was a bench in the sunshine, and I decided to sit, and just be. Continue reading

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Cross-shaped

Last week was hard. The series of events broke me. And it was only at the end of it all that I realized that God was there during all of it, leading me slowly back to Him.

Continue reading

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Shock #tbt

It’s been a while since I’ve written, and while I know that no apology is necessary, I almost feel as though it’s compulsory to give an excuse for my absence. I don’t yet have the words for it, but I will do my best to try. Later.

In the interim, I stumbled across a short musing I had written early last semester. It’s wordy and written in a voice that I no doubt integrated from a book I was reading at the time, but it’s true nonetheless. That was a time that I quite enjoyed writing down what was going on with me. It is probably an exercise that had kept me sane back then. I know this because the throwback was enough to make me return here, as I’ve been trying to make myself do for the past few months. Perhaps that’s an indication that God has something to do with this – plus, it’s Thursday, the official day of the week for pensive throwbacks.  Continue reading

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This battle of the mind and flesh will not be won with schedules, do’s and don’ts, or the wisdom of this world. It will be won by the work and changing power of the Gospel, the assurance of Truth, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

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