Tag Archives: friend

A Proclamation

I made a decision a friend of mine didn’t approve of. That in itself was fine, but he took it one step further, quoting to me Proverbs 14:12 – “There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” I tried to shrug it off, but couldn’t. I hold Proverbs in high esteem, and I’m searching for wisdom. The words literally made me stop thinking, going back and forth over the past few days. Was it not enough that I saw God in my choice? That there was good fruit? How would I know that, while it looks good, anything I do is not taking me towards death?

But it was as though, in the midst of all this turmoil, something in me clicked. Snapped. Continue reading

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Cross-shaped

Last week was hard. The series of events broke me. And it was only at the end of it all that I realized that God was there during all of it, leading me slowly back to Him.

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Shock #tbt

It’s been a while since I’ve written, and while I know that no apology is necessary, I almost feel as though it’s compulsory to give an excuse for my absence. I don’t yet have the words for it, but I will do my best to try. Later.

In the interim, I stumbled across a short musing I had written early last semester. It’s wordy and written in a voice that I no doubt integrated from a book I was reading at the time, but it’s true nonetheless. That was a time that I quite enjoyed writing down what was going on with me. It is probably an exercise that had kept me sane back then. I know this because the throwback was enough to make me return here, as I’ve been trying to make myself do for the past few months. Perhaps that’s an indication that God has something to do with this – plus, it’s Thursday, the official day of the week for pensive throwbacks.  Continue reading

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Repercussions

I didn’t have time to visit him in the hospital last Friday night. I can’t remember what I was doing, but I was busy, no doubt. I always am. My mother came that weekend, but I should have stayed when I went that morning. I didn’t pay attention in class that I ran back for anyways. I should have stayed to listen. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so guilty for not getting off the bus.
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Coming Home

My friend described my past summer as a “vision quest,” a Native American tradition of sending out the youth in pursuit of some sort of revelation. While somewhat accurate, it’s missing the key element, which is that God aspect that never seems to let me go (thank God): I went in search of myself, but I came back with a revelation of God. It’s interesting, but the more I look to myself and look for myself and try to find the meaning of my life and how I relate to people, the more depressing life becomes. Perhaps I’m alone in this, but I see the gifts I have, I see the opportunities I’ve been given, yet I cannot help but feel like a constant failure. My lack of wisdom in certain situations, the evil that I always fall back into for the sake of not having to fight against it anymore, are only a few of the many elements that I see in myself that make me hopeless. I can’t do it, and what’s worse, I can’t do it without God.
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The One Story I Cannot Tell

My dear friend,

You know how much I love to share my stories with you, and you know if something this big has happened, something so beautiful that it can only be from God, you know how much I’d want you to know about it too. But this time, I’m sorry, but this is one story I cannot tell. You see, I’m afraid that if I speak it out loud, it’ll lose it’s beauty.   Continue reading

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Faith As Small As a Mustard Seed

It was the most beautiful show of faith that I had ever seen. Continue reading

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