Category Archives: Lessons

I forgot I love this

One of the hardest things about taking the road less traveled is remembering why you started in the first place. So many times you arrive at a fork in the road, a setback, a rut, the road ends and continues after a three foot wide chasm, and you think to yourself, “how did I get myself here?” And what’s there to make things even worse? The memories of what you left behind in order to pursue your “dream.”  Continue reading

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Leaving to Find More

It feels like such a novel concept, in a way. The idea that by leaving something behind, there will be more that God will reveal. It’s odd to think about, especially considering it’s the basis of my faith: by putting behind our sinful man, God fills us up with His Love, His Presence; by letting go of this world, He brings us into His Kingdom. But I guess I never, until now, realized that it applies to this. To him. And to myself.  Continue reading

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Repercussions

I didn’t have time to visit him in the hospital last Friday night. I can’t remember what I was doing, but I was busy, no doubt. I always am. My mother came that weekend, but I should have stayed when I went that morning. I didn’t pay attention in class that I ran back for anyways. I should have stayed to listen. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so guilty for not getting off the bus.
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Transformation

I must have spoken about this before, as it has been a constant theme in my young life, but it is very true that my greatest fear in life is failure. I’m creeped out by spiders and I would prefer not to be at gunpoint, but failure itself is an umbrella under which everything else that is worth avoiding hides. As long as I can avoid failure, I can avoid all other unpleasantness, such as losing friends or disappointing my mother or getting into life-or-death situations. The only problem with this being my biggest fear is my huge aptitude for failure.   Continue reading

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Coming Home

My friend described my past summer as a “vision quest,” a Native American tradition of sending out the youth in pursuit of some sort of revelation. While somewhat accurate, it’s missing the key element, which is that God aspect that never seems to let me go (thank God): I went in search of myself, but I came back with a revelation of God. It’s interesting, but the more I look to myself and look for myself and try to find the meaning of my life and how I relate to people, the more depressing life becomes. Perhaps I’m alone in this, but I see the gifts I have, I see the opportunities I’ve been given, yet I cannot help but feel like a constant failure. My lack of wisdom in certain situations, the evil that I always fall back into for the sake of not having to fight against it anymore, are only a few of the many elements that I see in myself that make me hopeless. I can’t do it, and what’s worse, I can’t do it without God.
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Faith within Failure

God didn’t save me. So what do I do with that? I can’t very well blame Him for where I put myself. It was all my fault – I didn’t do enough, and I failed.

But I prayed, I trusted Him. What good is a God who lets something important to me slip through my fingers?  Continue reading

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The Lost Beauty of Words

“I don’t like reading. I prefer watching the movies.” Probably one of the most unfortunate things I’ve ever been close enough to hear. I’ve heard it several times, and every time it pains me in a way that I couldn’t truly describe. At first I thought it was just the sadness that comes from someone saying that your favorite pastime is not worth much to them, and at that moment you suddenly feel ostracized and alone and you react by either defending the integrity of a good read or simply shrugging it off and moving on. But after reading a beautifully penned story by one of the students in my Advanced Fiction Workshop, I realized that it’s not the pain of finding yourself in the minority, but rather the pain from seeing someone, knowing someone, who will never understand the beauty of a masterpiece painted with words.  Continue reading

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3 Reasons Why You Should Never Put Yourself Down

1) First and foremost: you are God’s precious son or daughter. He paid the ultimate price for you, and thinks you’re worth His love. So then who are you to think less of yourself? You neither created yourself nor can save yourself, and there is nothing you can do to separate yourself from God’s love. Someone like that must be pretty darn awesome 😉  Continue reading

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I want to be a writer.

I’ve always wanted to, in fact I’m sure there’s a post somewhere in the not-so-deep depths of my archives that talks about this (whether on this blog or on the other four blogs I started in my youth (“in my youth.” Now there’s a funny phrase for someone my age to say)). Last January I went on a retreat that changed my outlook on my life, and confirmed for me that writing is going to be part of how God moves through me in my life.

Cool. So now what?  Continue reading

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A Slice of Humble Pie

“Rejection is a good thing – it reminds us we’re not perfect.” A friend of mine said that to me only hours before I received a rejection that I was convinced would never happen. When I remembered that, I smiled sadly: yet another lesson in humility where I thought pride wasn’t an issue.

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