HUFPSUSU. Prounounced “huhfp-soo-soo”. The ever-so-clever acronym my father came up with to help us remember the sins most abominable to God: hypocrisy, unlove, fear, pride, slothfulness, unbelief, selfishness, and uncleanliness.
And I’ve found myself in the unfavorable circumstance of battling every single one of these.
Of course, we are all sinners; it’s not a rare thing to be battling with sin. I just find it interesting, and even ironic, that I’m battling all of these to a higher degree in my own house. The place where my faith was born and nurtured. The place where I am with my own family – the people who I am closest to, with whom I’ve been through the most. One would think that this would be the one place where my faith would shine. Or perhaps its the perfect setting for all my flaws to make themselves known.
So then why is it bothering me so much? Tis an easy enough fix, a great place for a wonderful testimony. The perfect place for victory, surrounded by people who love me. It’s, in a word, glorious. It’s bothering me because I started off well enough. And then I was told something by a dear friend of mine, someone who I respect to a degree very close to which I respect my father. He told me that I am an intercessor.
Intercessor – mediator: a negotiator who acts as a link between parties.
An intercessor is someone:
Who intercedes on behalf of someone else, a born-again believer, who has been washed in the Blood of Jesus;
Who is God fearing and willing to give up their schedules, time and plans on behalf of another;
Who does not mind being interrupted by the Holy Spirit for prayer;
Who is not only filled with the Holy Spirit, but has the evidence of speaking in other tongues (heavenly language);
Who has a heart after God’s own heart;
Who lives a life of repentance and is sanctified unto God, holy and set aside to be used of God, presenting their bodies as a yielded vessel;
An intercessor is confident that Jehovah God hears their prayers and will answer them according to his Word. He watches over His word to perform it. It is the Will of God for all believers to pray and not lose heart, faint or quit! (Luke 1:38; Luke 18:1; Colossians 4:2).
Excerpt from Pastor Galvano’s book “Intercessory prayer & Warfare Manual”.
Me. An intercessor. And immediately, I was afraid.
From then on, I’ve been falling. Or perhaps being turned in a way to make it more obvious to me the sins in my own heart that the devil can use against me. Either way, it’s forcing me to reevaluate my faith. To internalize it.
This afternoon, I sat on my mother’s bed, thinking about the whole ordeal. It’s why I started thinking about my dad. He is someone I would be able to sit and talk to about this whole thing. He gave me so much, taught me so many things, inspired me to go where I didn’t think it was possible and to think he is not here to listen to my fears, and to hug me and tell me that everything is okay that God loves me and that He will never abandon me. Because he’s gone.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone.